Fly Butterfly - October 07, 2011

And the tears fell again as I walk on board the plane back for home.

Memories immediately flash like a light speed.

Now I’m alone again, and I hate that, sitting alone. I got used to having him around.

Those weeks were special.

And all I can do is accept the fact that we’re probably one of those lovers who may have met at the wrong place and the wrong time.

Or are we?

I never liked that feeling…walking away from him.

I mean, who would? I feel so alone right now.

Saying goodbye is really a big time sucker.

But the holidays have ended and now I’m bound to move on again, see what’s next, and plan ahead.

These people, they don’t know how I feel right now. They don’t see my heart hurting.

They have no idea I’m crying of how hard it is to leave someone dear to me back there.

It’s such a struggle to be in a long distance relationship.

“It’s sad, so sad; it’s a sad, sad situation…and it’s getting more and more absurd…”

This empty seat beside me, he could’ve been in it. So I can lay in his arms to sleep once more.

I miss him so bad already.

And now taking off I look back once more to watch those tiny little landscape and moving cars below.

He could be somewhere there, while I fly away to deal with responsibilities.

I could’ve been with him, but life is a sucker sometimes.

So I guess it will be this way for now.

I can’t even feel like sleeping. I’ve lost the feeling of security.

And I don’t know when I will see him again…the most fucked up feeling.

This is even worse than the first time. And yet I gotta warn myself that there will be more.

When I get home, I know the first thing I will see is my bedroom which will then again remind me of him sweeping in to my door.

Right now there’s nothing else I wanna do than have him in my arms; nothing else I wanna wish for than to be with him; nowhere else I wanna be than beside him.

I’ll keep the faith for now that someday there’ll be a time for us; that someday we’ll be together without the distance between us…

This morning when I wake I gave him so many kisses. How can they not be enough?

Now I can take one more shot just to kiss him again. His lips in mine, how I long for that.

Tonight we’ll be sleeping alone…it’s a matter of getting used to it again, I know.

The Story of Us

I used to think one day we'd tell the story of us,
How we met and the sparks flew instantly,
People would say, "They're the lucky ones."
I used to know my place was a spot next to you,
Now I'm searching the room for an empty seat,
'Cause lately I don't even know what page you're on.

Oh, a simple complication,
Miscommunications lead to fall-out.
So many things that I wish you knew,
So many walls that I can't break through.

Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room and we're not speaking,
And I'm dying to know is it killing you like it's killing me, yeah?
I don't know what to say, since the twist of fate when it all broke down,
And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now.

Next chapter.

How'd we end up this way?
See me nervously pulling at my clothes and trying to look busy,
And you're doing your best to avoid me.
I'm starting to think one day I'll tell the story of us,
How I was losing my mind when I saw you here,
But you held your pride like you should've held me.

Oh, I'm scared to see the ending,
Why are we pretending this is nothing?
I'd tell you I miss you but I don't know how,
I've never heard silence quite this loud.

Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room and we're not speaking,
And I'm dying to know is it killing you like it's killing me, yeah?
I don't know what to say, since the twist of fate when it all broke down,
And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now.

This is looking like a contest,
Of who can act like they care less,
But I liked it better when you were on my side.
The battle's in your hands now,
But I would lay my armor down
If you say you'd rather love than fight.
So many things that you wished I knew,
But the story of us might be ending soon.

Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room and we're not speaking,
And I'm dying to know is it killing you like it's killing me, yeah?
I don't know what to say, since the twist of fate when it all broke down,
And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now, now, now.
And we're not speaking,
And I'm dying to know is it killing you like it's killing me, yeah?
I don't know what to say, since the twist of fate 'cause we're going down,
And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now.

The end.

FUEL - Marit Larsen

FUEL - Marit Larsen

The fuel to write
To burn, to stay alive
To stand and wait
It takes fuel to light the tiniest star, and fuel to start a fire

The fuel to win
To dare to keep the rhythm
The courage to trust
It takes fuel to take the leap, to keep the pace, to start the engines

I get it from you
I get it from you

It takes fuel to walk the line, to put one foot in front of the other
It takes fuel to turn the wheels, to keep the grace to still discover

I get it from you
I get it from you
I get it from you

Under the Surface - Marit Larsen

I am quite surprised of myself having these M2M moods lately and I didn't know why but yea maybe, because of the memories I get. Those were the days. And those two girls are talented. I remember thinking Marion Raven was prettier and all that.. and those Norweigan girls made it in the US! Somehow, the same instinct led me down to browse on them again today. Always had the soft heart for song-writers and I think, I just think, that I'm falling for a new talent.. Marit Larsen. Don't get me wrong, she is not my type of music, but her lyrical scope gets into my soul and draws that smile in my lips. Her voice, soothing, probably the Norah Jones/Chantal Kreviazuk/Jewel-type, calm and friendly. She comes down naturally with her talent: piano/guitar skills and her ability to twist the words on those lyrics better than other English writers. It gets me to that same old mood I'm in when I write my own. Mixed feelings of content, tearfulness, love, and inspiration. It brings out my emotions, unfortunately. But then it makes me feel good. So this I wanna share, just one part of Larsen's music. (To see video, click on the title of the song.)

Under the Surface

It's such a funny sensation to be
So happy that you wanna die
Promises always were crazy to me
But never was I so surprised

Minutes are longer when we are apart
Your presence's more than I can handle
It's come to the point where I wonder if I
Could ever be luckier when

Suddenly I'm back at the core
Thinking of her who had you before
Were you as good
As good as we are
Do you remember?
Did you love her the way you love me?
Is there a chance that there might be
Traces of her that you carry under the surface?

Lend me your ears, I would like to confess
I'm doubting that you can be real
By your side wearing a beautiful dress
I celebrate how good it feels

Say that you love me, say that it's true
I know that I want to believe you
But somehow silence speaks louder than words
I'm worried she's still on your mind

Mmm... I know that I'm selfish
I know that it's bad
I know, but it's driving me mad
It's driving me mad

Under the surface
Under the surface