Fly Butterfly - October 07, 2011

And the tears fell again as I walk on board the plane back for home.

Memories immediately flash like a light speed.

Now I’m alone again, and I hate that, sitting alone. I got used to having him around.

Those weeks were special.

And all I can do is accept the fact that we’re probably one of those lovers who may have met at the wrong place and the wrong time.

Or are we?

I never liked that feeling…walking away from him.

I mean, who would? I feel so alone right now.

Saying goodbye is really a big time sucker.

But the holidays have ended and now I’m bound to move on again, see what’s next, and plan ahead.

These people, they don’t know how I feel right now. They don’t see my heart hurting.

They have no idea I’m crying of how hard it is to leave someone dear to me back there.

It’s such a struggle to be in a long distance relationship.

“It’s sad, so sad; it’s a sad, sad situation…and it’s getting more and more absurd…”

This empty seat beside me, he could’ve been in it. So I can lay in his arms to sleep once more.

I miss him so bad already.

And now taking off I look back once more to watch those tiny little landscape and moving cars below.

He could be somewhere there, while I fly away to deal with responsibilities.

I could’ve been with him, but life is a sucker sometimes.

So I guess it will be this way for now.

I can’t even feel like sleeping. I’ve lost the feeling of security.

And I don’t know when I will see him again…the most fucked up feeling.

This is even worse than the first time. And yet I gotta warn myself that there will be more.

When I get home, I know the first thing I will see is my bedroom which will then again remind me of him sweeping in to my door.

Right now there’s nothing else I wanna do than have him in my arms; nothing else I wanna wish for than to be with him; nowhere else I wanna be than beside him.

I’ll keep the faith for now that someday there’ll be a time for us; that someday we’ll be together without the distance between us…

This morning when I wake I gave him so many kisses. How can they not be enough?

Now I can take one more shot just to kiss him again. His lips in mine, how I long for that.

Tonight we’ll be sleeping alone…it’s a matter of getting used to it again, I know.