Sunday, November 21, 2010

No Fairytale - June 20, 2010

When I was young, I’ve always dreamt about becoming a star. Growing up I learned to accept the fact that I practically can never be one. I am my own star, but becoming one of the worlds’ brightest wasn’t meant for me. It’s like everyone seemed to like it, and for me I can just be happy alone in the stage performing for myself. And I don’t need people to watch me.
When you’re young you go beyond imagination…it’s later that you realize you’re actually standing in the pavement of impossibility. You’re free to look up and think about it over and over again…but in the real world of realists you are obliged to face the real deal and that is – to walk the road in front of you. Unless you’re a politician, a businessman or someone from the showbiz, you don’t have a choice.
Back then I used to believe that every love has its own fairytale. If you don’t have it, it will come to you in time like your knight in shining armor. I used to believe that in every relationship there’d be ups and downs but at the end of the day it’s happily ever after. It’s only now that I’m realizing that ‘fairytale’ does not exist at all. It’s a word made up by man himself…something created to entertain the minds of the young dreamers…a product of imagination. And in the real world there is no such thing as fairytale. So when I think how my life used to be, I feel much better staying there than in my sad reality.
I used to think that love is a powerful word…it still is probably…depending on how true it is. But I don’t think love is enough reason for a happy ending. Love can be present even without a happy ending, but then again happy endings are fairytales…they don’t exist in the real world. The real world consists of beautiful sceneries and material things, wonderful manly activities and mandatory routines, people and senseless responsibilities…it revolves in one huge cycle. If only the real world is one big fairytale, it could’ve been happier.
But who says the world is about being happy anyway? The world is not going to mourn if one person is unhappy. I think every human being has a life to live and he decides how he wants to live it. The only sad fact is – I want to live in my fairytale – and I simply cannot do that. No matter how I try to dribble, it’s never going to change anything. I still am in the real world where fate decides and I don’t. Life is not a fairytale. What seemed to be wonderful in your eyes before may not be as amazing now; what seemed to be beautiful in your senses before may not be as striking now; what appeared to be real in your judgment before may not be as genuine as you thought it was…
You will need to look into yourself and reflect why slowly you’re waking up into this kind of realizations. Based on observations, experience, facts, or even predictions and forecasted situations…I can never tell…but I guess it’s better to understand the real game since I’m forced to play it. I can’t escape from life – that’s one thing. Whatever you do, wherever you go, whoever you love, whenever everything’s perfect…the world is still going to hurt you. Every story has an end though, you can’t run away from that, but the cycle will repeat itself. So there, you really can’t have the best of both worlds. And it can even get more complicated.

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