*Nobody's Perfect

When I'm nervous I have this thing, yea, I talk too much
Sometimes I just can't shut the hell up
It's like I need to tell someone, anyone who'll listen
And that's where I seem to fuck up

Yea, I forget about the consequences
For a minute there I lose my senses
And in the heat of the moment my mouth starts going
The words start flowing

But I never meant to hurt you
I know it's time that I learned to
Treat the people I love like I wanna be loved
This is a lesson learned

I hate that I let you down
And I feel so bad about it
I guess karma comes back around
'Cause now I'm the one that's hurting, yea

And I hate that I made you think
That the trust we had is broken
Don't tell me you can't forgive me
'Cause nobody's perfect
No, nobody's perfect, no

If I could turn back the hands of time
I swear I never would've crossed that line
I should've kept it between us
But, no, I went and told the whole world how I feel and

So I sit and I realize
With these tears falling from my eyes
I gotta change if I wanna keep you forever
I promise that I'm gonna try

I'm not a saint, no, not at all, but what I did, it wasn't cool
But I swear that I'll never do that again to you...

Hanggang Ngayon, at Hanggang Doon na lamang

Sa paglipas ng mga araw

     Ramdam ko ang iyong bawat galaw
Malayo ka ma’y natatanaw
     Naririnig mo ba ang aking sigaw?

Puso’y naghintay sa pagdating ng panahon

     Isip ko’y naglakbay saan ka man naroroon
Sadya nga bang hanggang ngayon
     Pag-ibig di nawasak ng alon?

Oh, mapaglarong tadhana

     May himig ng pagsinta sa t’wing ika’y nakikita
Tayo nga ba’y para sa isa’t-isa?
     Kung ang laman ng puso’y mayroon nang iba

Mga pangarap ay nagbago

     Ang pag-asa’y napawi at sumuko
Alaala mong pilit itinago
     Ngayo’y nagbabalik at nanunukso

Ano nga ba itong nararamdaman?

     Ikaw at ako’y pasulyap-sulyap na lamang
Ito’y pag-ibig bang dapat pigilan?
     Tanging tadhana lamang ang nakakaalam

Huwag ngayon, oh, huwag mong sabihin

       Na ako ngayo’y iyong iibigin
Kung noon ikaw ay dapat sa akin
     Ngayon sa piling niya ako’y panatag na rin.

                                               - thenameisAmanda

No title

I think I’ll start to appreciate myself when I cry. I just noticed that even when I’m crying I try to smile. I think I will be crying some more until I’m out of tears. And just maybe I am destined to do this for all my life. It’s not so hard to get used to crying. It’s hard to get used to getting hurt. My eyes are tired now. And my heart too. Today has been stressful. Too much, too painful to handle. I just wish there was someone, some shoulder I can cry on right now.

 

Why do you do this to me? What have I done to deserve this? I just want to be happy. Why does it not come for free? I can’t think about you tonight. If I do, I’ll be reminded of how much I love you. You know I’d cross the ocean for you. And even when it already hurts too much I’m still holding on tight to this love. I didn’t stop hoping for you to be the one. This is where I want to be, but it’s not supposed to be this way.

your bluë eyes.

Your blue eyes,

Like the ocean is stunningly beautiful.
Your blue eyes,
It’s true as the heart inside of you.
Your blue eyes,
Like I’m looking up the sky.

Your blue eyes,
They tell sorrows and dreams.
Your blue eyes,
I am taken I am lost with time.
Your blue eyes,
They paved the way to your heart’s desires.

Your blue eyes,

They’re not the reason why I’m here.
Your blue eyes,
It’s my one reason to smile.
Your blue eyes,
I get shivers down my spine.

Your blue eyes,
They’re not the reason why I love you.
Your blue eyes,
It is the goodness in your heart.
Your blue eyes,
Precious as the touch of your lips in mine.

Relationships

I fully understand why I feel like this. I am a girl. I have strong instincts. I don’t plan to change the world. I’ll let it work on its own. Like I will without anybody telling me what’s right and wrong. It has never worked out the nice way. In the end, we will all go down to this. So let’s try to walk out of dreamland where everything’s super perfect.

I am usually not the rebellious type. I am just an emotional creep trying to be happy and content with what I have in my very simple life. When it comes to relationships, I am selfish. I’m not ashamed to say that. And this I realized when I first sailed on a long distance relationship. I may not be in the right stand always, but I’ll be a hypocrite to say I am okay with something I’m totally not.

It’s pretty hard to work out one when you’re thousand miles away from each other. It’s even harder to pretend I don’t care when deep inside I’m crying my heart out. Sometimes you will think everything’s perfect, everything’s fine. Later you walk your ass off because the differences come showing up one by one. Then you realize there is so much yet to learn. So much yet to give, so much yet to take. How far you can keep it running is a question only you can answer.

It just gives me the twinge that we are two different worlds trying to merge. And I have so much yet to understand in your culture, what’s acceptable, what’s not, what’s good and bad. You have lived mine, but of course you haven’t taken everything. I am just another weak soul fighting for knowledge and wisdom. Another mind wanting to understand. Another heart hoping to feel love’s existence despite the poles apart…

…but there are some things I do not feel comfortable with. Maybe you do too. And how do I overcome them? When I start to feel I don’t belong, how do I stop it? When I start to think I can’t live with it, how do I change it?

You know people would always tell me I’m better off alone. At my age, it’s either I settle down and marry, or I go soul searching around the world. I only have simple wants and simple needs. But I never thought it’s never going to be that easy to have them. People say I should stick with someone of the same race, same belief, same culture. Well we can never tell who’s meant for me or if there’s actually that someone. But you know if I fail to read this challenge I will never be able to move on to the next page.